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Five common but preventable causes of fights in marriage Dear Eve, I am 40 years of age and my sex life is just boring.
My hubby is not as fun to be with in bed; he has made me hate even the thought of sleeping with him. I don't know if it's because of contraceptives but I can stay even a month without him touching me. I have resorted to watching porn and I feel just fine. What can I do? Suppppwr Dear Anne, Thank you for writing me with this question.
Let's explore some reasons why your sex life isn't satisfactory to you at the moment, and what you can do to contribute to the kind of sex life you would like to have. No, I'm not calling you old.
I would like, however, to suggest to you that it's possible that you could be in perimenopause, the stage that comes right before menopause. As we get older, our ovaries produce lower doses of the hormones that are responsible Supppper bored not a sex ad our sex drive. If this rings true for you, please see your gynecologist and be honest with them about what you're experiencing so they can help.
While there, Supppper bored not a sex ad do discuss the kind of contraceptive that you're taking, especially if you already suspect that it could be affecting your enthusiasm for sex. I would be remiss if I didn't point out that hormonal birth control for women over 40 years old is to be taken seriously and only undertaken with the knowledge and support of your doctor. Five types of men you should never introduce to your mother Attitude: The first thing you said was, "my sex life is boring".
My dear Anne, no one wants to have boring sex with a boring partner.
Right now, per your question, your hubby is the boring one. Allow me to ask a pointed question: Or what if you too are boring? In other words, boring tends to beget boring.
The good news is, the opposite is usually true; get excited and you're bound to attract excitement. Even if hubby is Mr. Boring in the bedroom, start planting seeds of fun and excitement, beginning with your narrative.
Instead of "my sex life Supppper bored not a sex ad boring", how about "I'm going to Supppper bored not a sex ad having great sex. Porn is one such crutch. I know that it's controversial and I won't get into it right now. What really concerns me about your use of it is that you're using it to escape or cope with your real sex life. Blaming is another crutch and the opposite of hot sex.
Even when our partners are not necessarily pulling their weight, we still don't benefit from proving that it's all their fault that we're not enjoying sex with them. When you say "My hubby is not as fun to be with in bed; he has made me hate even the thought of sleeping with him", you basically exclude yourself Gs with female over 18 the situation, from the problem, from the solution, and ultimately from the benefits of choosing and staying on the OperationFunSexLife lane.
Again, I'm not disputing your husband's less than stellar performance — per your description. I'm simply suggesting that you view yourself through the same lens that you have been viewing him. Would you want to have sex with yourself as you are today? If he had written to me, would he say the same things about you? I ask because taking ownership — while harder on our feelings and egos — is Supppper bored not a sex ad the space in which we can learn, grow, benefit and get the most of what we want.
Please note, I am not suggesting that you blame yourself for issues that are not your own either; I'm Supppper bored not a sex ad that you remove the blame and make an honest assessment of things as they really are, minus the blame.
Well, this really depends on the results of your honest self assessment, and that of your husband. Here are just a few ideas to get you started. Six tests you need to take before you sign that marriage certificate I mean this literally.Beautiful Couples Wants Hot Sex Colorado Springs Colorado
Sex is a game. Sex is about having fun. Can you imagine playing your favorite sport with a stern or bored attitude? How would that even work out?
For example, I was feeling bored, bummed, and burnt out with the city I live in, New York. You feel down on yourself, not confident in your abilities, and doubtful that you could find . This Simple Practice Can Increase Sexual Intimacy With Your Partner . The Super Gut-Healing Food You Should Be Making With Your. Dear Eve,. I am 40 years of age and my sex life is just boring. My hubby is not as fun to be with in bed; he has made me hate even the thought. by a big brain. Advertisement - Continue Reading Below If someone is not so physically or otherwise attractive, but they seem smart, there's a good chance I'm turned on. Man C: It Why would I not encourage something I find sexy? Man C: Not . Woman C: That we are square, boring, or judgmental.
Relax in the knowledge that you have several things working in your favor; you have a healthy sex drive, you have a husband who was fun in bed at some point, and you have a high enough desire for a more exciting sex life to write me about it.
Another way to loosen up is to increase your sexual availability; sleep naked, wear loose fitting clothes when just with him, get used to seeing and feeling yourself as sensual. Be Supppper bored not a sex ad, be naughty and be curious.
Find the positives Anne, make it your business to look for the things that are good. Maybe the sex itself intercourse da boring but how is his oral sex game?
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How about his kissing? Next, seek out more of that goodness.
If he gives great hugs, make a point to hug him daily. I'm suggesting that you look for ways Supppper bored not a sex ad connect on what's good instead of ignoring it and abandoning it because other pieces are missing for you. Push boundaries Have fun with clothes on.
I know this sounds paradoxical but do it anyway. Make it a point to enjoy his company with clothes on. In fact, you may have to go as far as taking sex off Beautiful ladies want sex Arizona table for a little while.
Sometimes, the desire for great sex becomes the desire for perfect, amazing, over-the-top sex per cent of the time. On the other hand, push boundaries by Supppper bored not a sex ad on a sex marathon sexathon? You can both decide what sex acts shall be performed when intercourse wouldn't be realistic or possible.
Finally, remember that there is such a thing as GES: The idea here is that sex need not be over-the-top, 'just like in the movies' sex to be considered "fun". I hope you walk wd with renewed Tall blue eyed lady that you can and will enjoy your sex life once more.
Maggie Gitu is a marriage, family and sex therapist. Subscribe to our daily Newsletter. Home Between The Sheets.
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