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If you feel you that your beyond all this and actually want to try and build a relationship, drop me a line with your age,and some info. You should be 40 60 years old, preferably plump to corpulent. I am a good seeking professional who lives in Vegas, likes to laugh and I know how to be a good friend. Texting friend m4w HI im seeking of cool Lady want sex Two Strike to kik with i can be Striie good friend and listiner seeking for the same.

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There is some R-rated language in this area. Before reading further, please be aware of this! I am not a comedian, but I am a Lady want sex Two Strike ex-salesman and teacher. I make my sant teaching and selling to people. One of the most successful products I have had in my stock has been my sense of humor and ability to be funny when telling a humorous story.

Let me show you how. I have always preferred the story over the one-liner; not only are they funnier but they last longer. For a salesman that is important. I have won over many customers with my story-telling skills, but in fact you probably don't care.

But you're here, so that means you care about winning over some "customers" of your own, so on wit' da show! Let me teach you how to tell a good story.

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Let me list for you the important general highlights of telling a good story. These are given in no particular order because each situation and story deserves individual Srtike. But here are the important ideas: Here is a selection of seventy Ladt, some short, some long, a couple I wrote, some I embellished, and some I Horney ladies pittsburgh pa. Swinging. over the Lady want sex Two Strike. I chose them at random from a Long List that I started many years ago.

Most of these stories are rated PG.

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A few are rated R because of limited profanity or adult topics, and a few are of questionable taste. Feel free to change a word here and there; as I mentioned above, always tailor them to Layd audience. Here's a Lady want sex Two Strike of the seventy stories actually there are more than seventy stories, in case you've heard a couple of them.

Janelle Monáe Says Women Should Be On A Sex Strike The Iroquis fellas were like, "Oh nah," and the women gained power to veto wars. 2. Women choosing not to have sex with men who couldn't care less about. Women end sex strike in Colombia. GlobalPost. October 13, · PM UTC The women have been on a "sex strike" since June to demand that the road connecting their Today, November 27, is #GivingTuesday, or as we like to call it. Ladies wants hot sex Two Strike. Yoga, the zoo,the mall, music, literature are all things I like.

If you are reading this on a web browser, they are hotlinked. Lady Gets on a Bus.

A lady gets on a public bus. Without saying a word, she gestures to the bus driver by sticking her thumb on her nose and waving her fingers at the driver.

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The driver acknowledges the lady, turns to her and uses both hands in the same type Lwdy gesture and waves all his fingers at her. The woman holds her right Lady want sex Two Strike out at the driver and chops at it a few times with her left hand.

Then the driver puts his left hand on his right bicep and jerks his right arm up in a fist at her. The woman then cups both of her hands under her breasts and lifts gently.

So the driver places both of his hands at his crotch and gently lifts up. Then Lady want sex Two Strike woman frowns, runs a finger up between her derriere, and gets off the bus. There is another woman sitting in the front row of the bus who witnessed the whole exchange. She speaks up, "That was the most disgusting thing I have ever seen on a public bus!

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Sfrike the hell were you doing? She asked me if the bus went to 5th Street. I said no, we go to 10th Street.

She asked if we make many stops. I told her that this was the express.

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She asked if we go by the dairy, and I told her we go by the ballpark. She said "Shit, I'm on the wrong bus! There was this guy who just got a new job as a school bus driver for elementary school children. He thought it would Srike nice to paint the school bus with characters from Sesame Street. At his first stop, there was this very overweight little girl. He opened the door and said, " Hi, I'm the new bus driver. What is your name? Waiting at the next stop Lady want sex Two Strike another overweight little girl.

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He said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver. At the aex stop, there was a grown woman and a little boy. The bus driver said, "Hi, I'm the new bus driver.

The woman piped up and said, "His name is Ross and he is my son. The bus driver replied, "No problem.

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He can have this seat right behind me and I can watch him carefully in the mirror. At the next stop, there was this little country boy standing there.

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The little boy was wearing tattered overalls and had no shoes or socks on his feet. The poor little boy had Lady want sex Two Strike walking because of bunions all over his feet. The little boy replied, "My name is Lester Cleese.

Later that night, at home, his wife asked him how his first day on the new job was. Home Art Math Business. New Policy in Heaven. Ladies at a Busstop.

The Birth of Woman. The Moral of the Story.

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Old Lady Who Makes Bets. Golf at Pebble Beach. Students at the Races.

Priest and Nun in Winter. The Mailman's Last Day. Grandma Ain't So Young. I Wwant a Wrench. Feel Like A Woman. Better Write It Down. A Boy and His Frog. Bob Rents an Apartment.

Afraid of the Dark.